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The Coeburn Community Library celebrated We the People with a reading of a tall tale by me.

This free event was open to children in grades 4 through 6, as well as their families. Library staff led a tall tale writing and craft workshop after the reading.

The event took place November 10.

We the People is a National Endowment for the Humanities program designed to encourage and enhance the teaching, study, and understanding of American history, culture, and democratic principles. The Coeburn Community Library received funding to participate in We the People.

The Coeburn Community Library is part of the Lonesome Pine Regional Library system.

A terrible snow storm ravaged Southwest Virginia Friday, December 18. As a result, Saturday’s book signing was cancelled.

On a personal note, we lost power and phone Friday night and, as of today, Tuesday, still do not have it. I am a snowstorm refugee, staying with relatives. I washed my hair at work this morning. We may not have power until Christmas or later.

Ah, a story must come of this.

I have a brand new web site. There you’ll find pictures of my family, pets, and book signings. You’ll also learn more about my secod book.

Check it out: www.nevabryan.com.

Wren remembered the way the water had felt the night she fell in the flooding creek. It had carried her away and covered her until the world grew dim and distant. That seemed a good thing to her now, to be far away from the world. She climbed up on the bridge and pivoted so that her legs hung over the side.

She let her purse dangle between her legs a moment, then dropped it and watched it disappear beneath the current. That was easy, she thought. She looked up at the sky, at the stars. They’re not really angels.

November 18, 2009
Reject me, please

By Chris Rodell, a freelance writer and author who blogs at www.EightDaysToAmish.com

I’m nostalgic for the days when I used to gauge my how hard I was working by the frequency of my rejection letters. I knew I wasn’t working hard enough unless I was getting at least one rejection a day. This made sense because if the rejections were coming with regularity it meant that my stuff was being considered elsewhere and would by the law of averages produce a positive result. These days I rarely count on getting either the rejection or the positive result. It’s a Twilight Zone existence where I spend my days yelling down a long canyon and hearing no echoes. After a fun and fruitful decade as a freelance magazine writer, I’m using the godforsaken downturn in that field to sharpen and pitch four book proposals (an upmarket satirical novel, a downmarket non-fiction humor book, a memoir and a fantasy tale about how the world would be better a place if Dick Cheney was a kindly undercover superhero). The general reaction has me thinking maybe it’s time to come up with a fifth book proposal. I spend about half my time sending out fastidious query letters to agents and publishers and the other half wondering why no one bothers to respond. The obvious answer is, of course, I’m a unqualified hack and that my ideas suck.

But there is evidence to the contrary. I’ve worked with some of the snazziest magazines in the country — and I’m talking about ones that still exist and actually lived up to their commitment to pay me. My ideas have earned flattering interest from top ranked industry people who tell me my offbeat stuff’s great, but just not quite right for them. “Just keep pitching,” they say, “You’re bound to find the right person. Good luck!” So pitch I do. I pitch the way the sweaty guys in the locomotive coal pits did when they wanted the train to make it up a really steep grade. I just keep on shoveling. But despite all the evident energy, the wheels on my locomotive just keep spinning. There is no progress. No advancement. I get a real surge of satisfaction after I’ve spent a couple of hours pouring through the top dealmakers at Publishers Marketplace until I’ve found 10 worthy targets and tailored my lively query letters to their specific interests. How can it miss? I never do it like this, but I wake up those mornings feeling like I ought to shave and put on a really nice shirt.

I’m sure two or three of the recipients will respond with hosannas about my proposals, ask to see more or — hallelujah — offer me a contract on the spot. But no one responds. Never. They don’t say yes. They don’t say no. I don’t know whether they got them and are considering them, if they rejected them outright or if they didn’t get them and are sitting there banging their heads on their desks and beseeching, “Why on earth won’t somebody send me a proposal about Dick Cheney in cape!” It’s worse than even prom time in high school when at least I knew by the hysterical laughter that I’d earned yet another rejection. Then there are one’s like this that came last month from a top editor: “Thanks for sending this! I’m going to read it tonight and get back to you tomorrow.” I still haven’t heard back. Has she been abducted? Should I call? Send flowers? Form a search party? If she has been abducted and I succeed in saving her from lost time space ship experimentation you’d think she might look favorably on my proposal — or at least respond to my query with a crisp, “No thanks.” I guess maybe I was raised differently. If someone asks me a question, I answer. I respond to all my e-mails, even ones from students or fellow freelancers who are struggling and seeking veteran advice. I tell them what I can but always include the Bob Dylan line from the 1997 song “High Water” to add necessary perspective: “Don’t reach out for me, can’t ya see I’m drowning, too?” Pity my poor wife. She sees no result and certainly no income. In weaker moments, she counsels that maybe it’s time for me to find what she calls “crap jobs,” as if my professional existence could possibly become any crappier. Bless her heart, she just doesn’t have a clue.

There are no crap jobs and it’s too late for me to pack a lunch pail and head to plumber school. I’m in it up to my neck. The only thing left for me to do is to continue to fail at a more spectacular level. I can’t quit. I have to believe I have good ideas and one of them is soon bound to bear fruit. And on that happy day there will be a grand party. There will be extravagant booze, cigars, succulent seafood and dances of mutual joy until the sun comes up and the band slams the trunks on their battered instruments and heads for home. It’ll be one of the world’s greatest parties. And, by God, you’re all invited. Just be sure to R.S.V.P. It’s only proper.

Independent Publisher Online has made St. Peter’s Monsters a highlighted title.

This means IPO recognizes it as one of the best of the books received and reviewed by its editorial staff.

These books are honored each month for exhibiting superior levels of creativity, originality, and high standards of design and production quality.

Check out my tweets here.

http://twitter.com/nevabryan

“The book is wonderful!!! I started it Saturday night when I got home and was hooked. I should have been packing on Sunday but kept picking up the book instead!” – J.R.

“I have been reading non-stop (as much as possible with work and stuff to do.) I loved the story and was taken on a great ride trying to see if the characters were going to end up where I wanted them. . . The first pages just jumped at me mostly because you have not used the usual adjectives, the well worn metaphors! I found the poet in you. I fell in love with the words themselves …..NOT simply the great twisted story! I am in love with words. I love the way phrases sing and move, roll over and can turn belly up showing a fresh and new image. “By October, oaks and maples had erupted into gaudy harvest colors.” p.10 Ahhhhhhhh, nice, very nice. Using “gaudy” allows me to go further with the suggestion…..most would just tell the colors trapping me into a fixed color position. So, write on good woman! Now I shall start looking for your poetry. Thank you for such a wonderful story in which you so carefully created deeper individuals who had a chance to find Grace.” – L.S.

Enter my contest and win a basket of my favorite things:

A necklace hand-beaded and donated by Leah Lawson: natural stone, quartz, swaro crystals, and sterling clasp.

A Clinch River Farmers Market T-Shirt donated by Lou Wallace.

A music CD donated and signed by the artist, Charlie Engle: Out of the Groove.

A book of poetry donated and signed by the author, Rita Quillen: Her Secret Dream.

Scented soap, hand made by Chastity Jenkins, Scents & Virtues.

A book donated by Frank Kilgore and Stacy Fowler Horton called The Clinch River: A World-Class Treasure.

A Lord of the Rings movie glass goblet.

A $5 gift certificate for cupcakes donated by Babycakes Cupcakery in Abingdon, VA.

A sunflower and bee address book.

A gingerbread-scented candle in a tin.

A signed copy of St. Peter’s Monsters donated by yours truly.

How to Enter

I have hidden ten lines from my book on the pages of my web site (www.nevabryan.com).

2 are located on the Buy the Book page. 2 are located on the What Readers Say page. 1 is located on the Video Trailer page. 1 is located on the Author’s Bio page. 2 are located on the Appearances page. 1 is located on the Publications page. 1 is located on the Contacts page.

Copy and paste all ten lines in the body of an e-mail and send it to me at the following email address:

neva@nevabryan.com

Be sure to paste your answer in the body of the email and do not include it as an attachment. Entitle your message Neva’s Favorite Things Contest.

Include your name, working phone number, mailing address, and working e-mail address in the body of the message.

One entry per person per e-mail address, please.

One winner’s name will be drawn from correct entries.

I will accept entries through noon, September 30, 2009. Detailed contest rules are below.

Contest Guidelines

No Purchase Necessary.

The answers to Neva’s contest can be found on www.nevabryan.com.

Must be at least 18 years old to enter contest.

You must include ALL pieces of information requested, or your entry is incomplete. Winners will be chosen at random from all correct and complete entries. International entries are NOT accepted.

Only entries received through nevabryan.com will be considered eligible. Odds of winning are dependent upon number of eligible entries received. Drawing governed by laws of the state of Virginia.

Contest accepts only one entry per person and only one entry per e-mail account. Duplicate entries will be voided. In the event of a dispute over the identity of an online entrant, entry will be deemed submitted by the holder of the e-mail account.

Use of automated devices is not valid for entry.

Electronic entries must be received by deadline noted on specific contest page.

Winner[s] will be notified by e-mail within 30 days of the drawing and names may or may not get posted to this website. All winner name listings will be name and city of residence only so as to protect the privacy of the winner.

Neva Bryan will not share entrant information with any third parties, except as required by law. Entry constitutes permission (except where prohibited by law) to use the winner’s name, hometown, and any text submitted for purposes of Neva’s advertising and promotion without further compensation. Neva Bryan may contact entrants in the future with information she feels may be of interest.

Any prize or prize notification returned to the sponsor as undeliverable will result in the awarding of that prize to an alternate winner. Substitution for any prize may be necessary due to unavailability, in which case a comparable prize of equal or greater value will be awarded. Sorry, no cash equivalent.

Please note that while Neva does read all your entries, she is unable to respond personally to them.

Neva Bryan, nevabryan.com, Brighid Editions, or the web host shall NOT be held responsible for technical failures in entry transmission, or for any damage to participant’s computer occasioned by participation in this contest/promotion or downloading any information necessary to participate in the promotion.

Not eligible to enter contest: Employees and contractors of any of Neva Bryan’s/Brighid Editions’/nevabryan.com’s contracted publishers, agents, and/or hired contractors (web design, publicists, printers, distributors, etc.) and affiliated companies and members of those employees’/contractors’ immediate families; individuals and companies that donated items for the prize.

Neva Bryan reserves the right to cancel the contest/sweepstakes if it becomes technically corrupted.

Winner will be notified by mail, e-mail or telephone within 30 days of the drawing.

All prize winners will be announced on nevabryan.com within 90 days of the close of the contest. All winner name listings will be first name and last initial and city of residence only so as to protect the privacy of the winner. Winner[s] is responsible for all applicable taxes.

All entries comply with the following: in no way, straightforward or implied, does any written submission constitute or indicate any collaboration between entrant and Neva Bryan, present or future. All submissions become the sole property of Neva Bryan.